When I first found out I was pregnant the last thing on my mind was mom guilt. I don’t think I fully understood what it was or how it would feel or if I would even experience something like that. After I had Magnolia I realized very quickly how overwhelming the mom guilt was. I couldn’t take a shower without feeling guilty that I wasn’t with her. I couldn’t even use the bathroom without feeling like I could be using that time holding her. I let this guilt that I was so unfamiliar with consume my life.
My husband didn’t want me feeling this way and neither did I. How could I work through this guilt so I could move past it and enjoy those little spare moments of taking care of the necessities for me? I learned that talking through the guilt helped a ton. Giving it a name and saying this is mom guilt and its okay to have it, now lets figure out how to accept that not every single second needs to be with my daughter. Talking through my fears of being a bad mom if I take a shower or being a bad mom if I go grab a coffee with friends helped me realize that these weren’t truths, they were anxieties of mine.
I had to understand that as long as I show up every single day and play with her and teach her something new and make sure I tell her I love her it was okay if I took an hour or even two out of my day to replenish myself. I finally got to a point where I knew that in order to show up for her I needed to show up for me. Feeling guilty for leaving your baby for a little bit is completely understandable trust me, I get it, but you also have to realize that you feel that way because you are an incredible mom! Wanting what’s best for your baby and wanting to spend time with them is what makes you an amazing mom, but you also need to prioritize you as well so you can fully show up for them! You got this!
