Becoming a mom changes everything. It’s something I expected, but never fully grasped just how much until I experienced it firsthand. My daily routine, priorities, and even my identity shifted overnight. But one of the most surprising changes? The way my friendships felt.
I’ve always loved my friends, but stepping into motherhood felt like entering a completely new chapter-one they hadn’t stepped into yet. It wasn’t that they didn’t care, but the reality is that unless someone has been through it, they can’t fully understand the struggles, exhaustion, and emotional rollercoaster that come with being a mom. I found myself hesitating to talk about my new life because I knew they wouldn’t completely get it, and I didn’t want to feel like I was venting about things they couldn’t relate to.
Instead of pulling away, I decided to shift the way we connected. I made a conscious effort to talk about things outside of motherhood-things we both enjoyed. Whether it was the latest show CJ and I had been watching, a book we were reading, or just catching up on their lives, I focused on topics that kept our bond strong. Asking about their world helped bridge the gap between our different life stages, making our friendship feel balanced rather than one-sided.
One of the biggest challenges was making plans. My schedule had completely changed, and the late-night outings or spontaneous get-togethers didn’t fit into my reality anymore. Instead of waiting for invitations that didn’t work for me, I started suggesting meetups at times that were convenient for both of us-maybe a coffee date in the morning or a quick lunch in the afternoon. I wanted my friends to know that I still values our time together, even if it looked different than before.
The truth is, some friendships naturally fade over time. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other or that something went wrong; sometimes, life simply moves people in different directions. That’s okay. Letting go of the pressure to keep every friendship exactly the same has given me peace. The friendships that are meant to last will adjust and evolve, just like we do.
Motherhood is an incredible journey, but it comes with it’s own set of challenges. If you’re struggling with friendships after becoming a mom, know that you’re not alone. Change is hard, but finding small ways to stay connected-and accepting when relationships shift- can make it easier.
You got this, mama!